When you ended things you took a part of me with you and I want it back. Your doing you and I’m doing me. We’re both happy but I won’t lie at times I wish we were together being happy. Sometimes I can’t fathom that you’re gone and not in my life anymore and if I called you to come see me like I used to all the time, you wouldn’t. I’m lying to myself if I say I regret everything and that I don’t think about you and the times we’ve had. They creep up on me all the time. When I see you, I completely lose it. I don’t want to just run into at random times and just say hi and ask how each others been. I don’t want to see you once every month. I don’t want awkward looks at each other when your girlfriend is around. There is so much I’d want to say but nothing comes out. I don’t hear your voice everyday, or feel your touch, or kiss you lips.. but I don’t have a choice. When you left I lost a part of me. I leaned on you when times got rough. Whose gonna talk to me till the sun comes up. I can’t sleep at night when your on my mind. I’m trying to keep it together but I’m honestly falling apart. I found someone to get you off my mind sometimes and I am happy. But I feel guilty when I think about you, cause I shouldn’t be. It’s not fair to him. I know only time heals everything and I’ve been waiting a damn long time for this to heal. No one really understands my situation expect for one person and she really isn’t in my life anymore. I lose people I care about most. I don’t know what i’ll do without my bestfriend listening to me bitch about this and being the only one who doesn’t get sick of hearing it because we’re both insane. I miss sleeping beside him every night and talking for 4 hours straight just about life and everyone getting annoyed because we would never shut up and sit there laughing. You were my first for everything. First boy I had sleepovers with, first boy I told absolutely everything to, first boy I was my complete self around, first boy I’d spend 5 days straight with, first boy I truly fell in love with. There’s a lot of feelings that remain since you’ve been gone. I didn’t put it all behind me because I don’t think what we had is something to just forget about and throw away. I’ll always think about it but I won’t sit here waiting anymore for nothing to happen. I’m working on making myself happy and it’s getting better day by day.